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What to do when their communication skills aren’t up to par…


Seriously, how can you and do you effectively communicate with someone when their communication skills aren’t up to par?

You might say, “I need more”. They respond with, “I’m incapable of doing more” or something to that effect.

Where does that leave you? Probably gutted, disappointed, unheard, rejected, uncertain and perhaps insecure. Believe it or not, this is not a gendered thing. Whether as a male or female,—what do you do when your partner doesn’t “get it” or you don’t feel that they are really listening?

The response of someone who is good with communication is unpacking the ‘I-need-more’ statement.

“What do you mean when you say more?”

“What does that look like?”

“Help me to understand why you feel that way”.

“Help me to understand how by me doing ‘more’ in the way you want, can make you feel that I’m satisfying your needs”.

These are the sorts of questions you ask when you want to understand the other person you’re speaking to or care about. Whether it’s friends or family, give it a go. All relationships, whether casual, intimate, friendships, family, or partnerships and spouses, are all two-way streets.

Too often we see either couples or the individual make the decision that it’s time to separate, in part because the other person simply doesn’t “get them”.

Perhaps a bit of communication strategy might go a long way to helping couples to stay together and not grow apart. Who knows… From our perspective, these communication skills can truly only come from self exploration, couples counselling or external professional help.

Communication becomes extremely important when it comes to separation and divorce. If you’re unsure of the path and need to consult with someone for advice on information about the process and the best approach for you to adopt in circumstances, then get in contact with us. Although we’re a law firm, we call ourselves divorce “consultants” and “advisors” because we’re exactly that. You don’t have to use us on an ongoing basis. Simply use us for advice and information on what to do next!

We offer advice and information appointments, including help on how you can try to effectively communicate your needs to your partner. Contact us today to make such an appointment.