The Three Parts To Your Brain
Here’s a quick neuroscience lesson on emotions and why you or your partner might feel or behave a particular way.
Don’t worry—we do explain why this is relevant to your separation.
Your brain is broken down into three parts, best easily understood by identifying the parts of your brain into Gut, Heart and Mind.
Your Gut-Brain, being the reptilian part of your brain (made up of the brain stem), means that you’re reactive, defensive and constantly anxious.
You’re focused on satisfying your own needs because anyone else is a threat to your ability to do so. It’s not logical, and it’s not strategic. You’re looking for immediate short-term survival. You’re clinging to having your basic needs met because your instinct is to survive. Your Gut-Brain is where the freeze-flight-fight response derives.
Your Heart Brain is where your limbic system regulates your emotions and desires. It is where compassion, empathy and the like come into play. As a result, you can focus and get stuff done on auto-pilot.
Your Mind Brain is where you’re able to engage in critical thinking, strategise and evaluate your situation.
It is only once your Gut and Heart Brains feel safe, comfortable and secure that you’re able to ascend to the higher part of your brain, your Mind-Brain. Your Mind Brain facilitates you evaluating options and possible outcomes for your separation agreements—whether that be about your children or finances.
Deciding to separate can be hard enough, let alone acting on it. We realise and appreciate that taking more formal steps to start and make the separation and everything that comes with it official can be daunting and overwhelming.
It’s why we’ve taken the time to understand a bit of neuroscience to understand more about the behaviours and reactions that we see between the individuals and couples we work with.
If you’re separating or thinking about it, consider taking our AMICABLE Separation Quiz. In less than seven questions, you can get your personalised next steps roadmap and begin to feel that little bit safer about your way forward.