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Special occasions from your child’s perspective after divorce 


17.12.18

Birthdays are supposed to be the celebration of a person’s birth day—the day that they were brought into the world. I think it ought to be more of a celebration for the parents though, who’ve created their own human being—what a super power!

From your child’s perspective, they have one birthday every year on which the whole day is supposed to be all about them–that is, unless their birthday falls on Christmas Day, in which case they share that day with someone who’s pretty special to a significant portion of our population.

On your child’s birthday, they are ‘special’ and they get spoilt; a fuss gets made of them by those people who love and care for them.

I find that parents can sometimes get caught up in wanting to see and spend time with their kids when it’s their kids’ birthdays, which is understandable.

But remember, it’s just 24 hours and depending on how old your child is, they may not know when their birthday actually falls. 

Sure there can be some significant downsides for kids whose parents are going through a divorce, including getting shuffled between households and not seeing both parents every day but, one of the perks you could say, is that from a child’s perspective, if their parents aren’t going to celebrate the birthday altogether on the one day, surely it’s not all bad if the child gets to have two birthday celebrations with each of their parents?

Sometimes people need a bit of a nudge to think about life from another person’s perspective, their kids in particular.

Got an agreement? Check out our draft Parenting Plans that you can prepare all by yourself.