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How long will it take?


26.04.21

The answer to this question is, it depends.

How long will it take for you to grieve the end of the relationship?

How long does it generally take to reach an agreement about the financial aspect of our separation?

How long does it take to get the formal aspects of the separation all sorted?

How long is a piece of string?

Each person “needs to be a suspended state of discomfort” (source not known) in order to progress to the formal aspects of the separation.

What does that look like you might ask? Well, it’s about you both feeling that little bit unsettled, that little bit unsure, that little bit not relaxed.

If you become comfortable, settled and feel that there are no waves, then it makes it harder to progress to the formal aspects of the separation.

This can mean the person or people who are comfortable may disengage from the process altogether, put their head in the sand or refuse to communicate. Shutting down, being obstructive and resistant to the inevitable changes that are coming can have longer term consequences if you’re not careful, like lawyer involved, increased expense (with legal fees) and time delays and in really bad cases, Court.

In our experience, if separating has been on the cards for a while and spoken about between a couple, then reaching an agreement about the financial split—who gets what (aka the property settlement) can take simply a few weeks to one or two months after separation.

Where the decision to separate has been made by one person and the other person feels a bit blinded, the time it takes for that couple to reach an agreement will be at least 4+++ months. In our view, this is because of the grief cycle. Each person needs to grieve the end of the relationship and sometimes the person on the receiving end of the separation decision, just isn’t emotionally ready to start talking about the financial split, let alone parenting.

So, anticipate the process for you and your partner to reach an agreement and make it all official will take a few months. Anticipate for at least 1-7 months from separation or from when you start making a move to progress tying up the financial aspect of your separation. Bear this in mind with all decisions.

(If you make your financial separation agreement official in a Financial Consent Order, depending on where you submit your agreement paperwork, the process can take 2 weeks or several months if there’s no urgency. Ask us for more information on this if you need).

Are you ready to get the ball rolling in making it all official?

Send us an email to ready@separatetogether.com.au and one of our friendly team members will point you in the right direction!