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Divorce-Separation Vowels To Live By


Not to brag or anything, but we work with some pretty amazing, inspiring, loving individuals and couples.

These people have chosen to separate from their partner together for the sake of their family, themselves, and one another.

We’ve noticed that there appear to be some underlying divorce-separation vowels that these couples have made to one another or themselves. Perhaps not explicitly spoken or written, but from their interactions and communications with us and with one another, we’ve observed their commitment to:

  1. Set aside their differences—the hurts and the wrongs that have been inflicted.
  2. Look to the future, rather than focus on the past. These couples talk about needing to still have dinner together for the kids’ sake or how they need to move on so they can have peace of mind and plan for the future.  
  3. Consider matters from their partner’s perspective as a way to check that they are not being unreasonable.  
  4. Look beyond the immediate short-term future.  
  5. Reflect on what they don’t want to happen, as a reality check to keep themselves on track, not muddy the waters, and avoid going down rabbit holes.

These divorce-separation vowels don’t mean that tears, frustrations, and upsets don’t not occur when we work with couples.

Still, these vowels seem to help strike a lovely balance between the reality of the emotional situation that our clients find themselves in and their aspiration and commitment to separate together.

We hope that these vowels resonate with you.